And I Was Nervous, I Was Nauseous, I Was Dripping Wet With Heat Rash – Balls 953-957 (July 21, 2018)

Cleveland Clevelanders 16 – Texas Rangers 3

Globe Life Park – Arlington, TX

July 21, 2018


Hottest game I will ever attend. Period.

The temperature as I (frequently) checked the weather app maxed out at 110. But the historical data says that it was 109. Whatever. This was the hottest game I will likely ever attend and also the hottest heat I’ve ever experienced (tying the temp we hit in Arizona, but with a much higher dew point, things felt warmer in Texas).

First pitch cooled down to only 107, making it a top ten heat game in MLB history, but it wasn’t able to tie the record of 109. Dang? I was able to snag 5 balls without BP – was it too hot, guys? – and recorded my first triple digit heat ball. Now I’ve snagged a ball thrown triple digits and one used in triple digit temps. That’s a weird enough stat, right? Can anyone else claim that feat?

I’d describe things in great detail, but the heat warped my brain. How about we just consult the tapes? Thanks.

And here I am wilting before the game and then speaking out of my butt after sweating it off.


Ball 1: Unknown Ranger

Ball 2: Armando Camacaro

Ball 3: Unknown Cleveland coach

Ball 4: Yonder Alonso

Ball 5: Ronald Guzman

And here is the song that is referenced in the title. Sorry, but Craig Finn once again plays a part in this song. His first band of note, Lifter Puller, are Minnesota legends. We pine for their reunion shows (very few and far between) and take pride in The Hold Steady and Craig Finn’s critical praise, because we know exactly where it started. We are total hipsters, able to tell you that we were into your favorite band/musician before they even formed that new band. But I ramble. Time to meet the Eye-Patch Guy…

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